fear & love

That's the basis for every decision we make in life: fear and love.


Out of fear, we chose to do things like lie, cheat, steal, omit information, run away, disguise, create a facade... or maybe worse, we chose to stay, feel guilt, hide, create alter realities, etc.


Why do we do these things? As humans, we are surrounded by the media pushing images of making these types of decisions, and yet, we are also surrounded by the masses telling us this is unacceptable. For the most part, we let our fears overtake our ability to make objective decisions. Because that's just it, if we are vulnerable enough to feel afraid, we are subjective. We lack the ability to "step into someone else's shoes" because ours feel so heavy. That's fear.


Out of love we provide honestly, protection, security, desires, dreams, everyday memories, letters, texts, emails, support, do the things that as an individual I am not interested in doing, but I do it for the one(s) I love.


Why do we do these things? It seems simple, as if this explanation would be much shorter than that of the reasons for fear. And yet, it's exactly the same. We are surrounded by the media, telling us to fall in love, and yet, that love is something to fear. We are surrounded by couples, love, and this facade of happiness. So, for the most part, we let our desire to love overtake our ability to make objective decisions. Because that's just it, if we are vulnerable enough to feel love, we are subjective. We lack the ability to "step into someone else's shoes" because our feel so full. That's love.


So they are mixed, it's not a clear, cut and dry, reason for our actions. It's a mix of love and fear. Out of fear we lie, and yet, it is to protect the one(s) we love. It's a double edge sword though, because, in feeling as if we are protecting, we are in fact hurting, the one(s) we love. It feels like a round-robin circle we can never escape.


Even if you make all of the decisions out of love, and have the ability to erase fear, at some point, you will be afraid. Humans are afraid of the unknown.


Love is the unknown.


Why do we try and play this idea that we are strong, unafraid, and ready to take on the world? That we can't falter or fail, and if we do, it isn't temporary. Failure in love is permanent. Failure in life isn't. This is why we fear love. We hate to fail. Humans hate to fail.


Love is fear, and fear is love.


In my life, I've been trying to separate this idea, of love and fear. I want to show that I am unafraid of love, and that love is something I want to accept; fearlessly. I am reaching for the impossible.


We are all afraid, and we are all love.


Time to stop being afraid. Time to stop trying to separate the two. Time to love, even if we are afraid to do it.


If not now, then when? Tomorrow? Next week? Next month? 6 months? A year?


Love is fear, and fear is love. I love with fear, and I fear love.