almost exactly one month since i've taken a moment to myself to just write. sometimes, i don't even think about what i'm writing exactly, it just ends up on here. it's cathartic really, i wish i allowed myself to devote more time.
another one of my regulars came in with a pretty little sparkly rock on her hand. another girl, another happy life about to be commenced. i don't truly understand how it all works. they meet. fall in love. become so happy that they are oblivious to the world around them. for once, i feel like i wanna return from the third wheel to the front two. i wanna come home to three people waiting for me, not just two. i wanna be so happy that i don't realize that i make the world around me feel like vomiting at love. i want to have the oblivious feeling. i realize that it's something worth waiting for, and i'll never push or force the vomskie feeling onto my friends or the love into my life. but if it wanted to come pretty soon, i think i'm ready to sit up front. maybe even drive.
i feel like i've lost my life in the best way possible. i feel like a mini-revolution has occured since march. i'm head-over-heels in love with my students. they are my entire world. i spend countless nights staying awake pouring over ideas and goals attempting to synthesize them into the 'perfect lesson'. backwards design. assessment. uptake. high-order questions. dialogic discussion. sacred writing time. choice novels. activities. meaningful learning. second to that comes my own classes. i skim readings, finish assignments as early as possible. and constantly reflect. third is my health. i still somehow make it to the gym everyday. it's my time to not think about school/students/life. i zone out. except now i have stress fractures in my shins. so i'm gimpy-magee and use the elliptical. oh well. fourth is the new addition to my life that brings smile, warmth, and stress relievers into my nights and times of slumber. sounds healthy right?
all in all - i feel like i'm past my slump. that period of time when i somehow feel like everything was going wrong. just because one thing went right. things fall into place. i finally found a new spritual home. i make a difference in 15 year olds lives. i'm building stronger and deeper relationships with those around me. i'm letting down my wall, seeing where life lets it take me. i'm open. honest. and love it.
since i really feel like playing 'catch up' on this leaving me unable to truely capture the moment that i'm in. i'll let these pictures speak for themselves. i may have been working hard, but i play every once in a while! until next time.. i bid ado =)
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